Category Archives: Chatter

O youthful enthusiasm, where art thou?

You know what pisses me off? I did this already. I wanted to sing well and perform. I got some training, fought tooth and nail for it. I wanted a better job, one that paid more and had great benefits. I wanted an unencumbered life. I wanted a degree. I wanted to live in paradise.

I made all that happen. I am freakin’ TIRED of making shit happen. I’m old now! I am not 20 or 33 or 40 and I am not Madonna. I don’t have endless financing with which to execute the next personal reinvention.

I was settled. I was content. I hate being derailed yet again. I worked to get here. Why is it an endless fight? I want to stop moving. I am tired.

Sent from my Nokia N97

YourFuture-12-2010

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YourFuture-12-2010

Originally uploaded by The Single Rider

The first couple of times I rode Spaceship Earth in EPCOT last week, there was something wrong with the interactive screen in my vehicle, so I didn’t really get a future to speak of.

In this one, they gave me a blonde cartoon chick as a business partner, since I was by myself in the vehicle. She seems agreeable enough, but I think she should lose the hair bow.

Anyhow, I’m going to have a grand career, designing surf boards from the comfort of my home and/or high speed magnetic commuter train. Cowabunga!

She’s home


I had that dream I always dream sometime after someone I know dies – the dream that tells me they are moving on. Sometimes it is only a matter of a few weeks until they are ready to go. Others take months.

I dreamed of Lisa. I believe it’s been three and a half months. She’s ready now. In my dream, she was alive again, returned from the dead. Well, not really. Apparently, we’d all been mistaken and she’d never really been dead to begin with. I knew that this would happen again, but it’s alright because the possibility of coming back yet again is always there.

She was wearing a plain dress with a skirt that would be good for twirling around. I hugged her, hoping she could forgive me for some transgression, and I was sorry I could not go with her.

I think of her each time I go to the beach, as though all oceans are connected, as though somehow she will come floating in towards me on the next wave.

I realize now that I’d been looking forward to being able to be friends with her instead of colleagues. I feel disappointed for myself that she died before the layoff happened. I miss her 🙁

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Fog on the pond



Fog on the pond, originally uploaded by The Single Rider.

Woke up Thursday to the first fog of the season. It took most of the morning to burn off. The greyness of the day reflected my mood – dental drama awaited me later in the day so I was not thrilled.

The last time I saw fog this thick was sometime in the spring. I was making a trek to the office up in Tampa and this sort of early morning gloom was prevalent all up I-75. The interstate travels through parts of Florida that are still just rural enough that we’ve got feed store commercials on the radio and cows pastured between our strip malls.

At o’dark-thirty that day, the interstate was banked by misty fields dotted with ghostly, legless cows; bizarre sight for a girl who grew up in the concrete jungle.

Sent from my Nokia N97