Critter management – curse of the terminally single

Owing in part to the fact that I am not an iAnything fan, I got a kick out of this morsel from the September issue of Wired magazine. The other reason I liked it is because of my long, colorful and quasi-famous history with the management of in-home critter invasions.

I’ve only mentioned the snake in the garage once here at The Single Rider, I believe. lately I’ve taken to signalling the onset of invasion by changing my Facebook profile picture to that of "Morrigan" the Irish warrior queen and snake killer etraordinnaire. Alas, self-sufficiencies in realms usually managed by men is the occupational hazard of the terminally single woman. One must open one’s own jars with one’s own two hands – and those same two hands are responsible for all matters of wildlife removal and/or extermination.

I’ve been fond of saying over the years that nothing which has scales, fur, wings, feathers or more than two legs – or doesn’t pay rent – gets to live here .

Now you know why I am terminally single ;o)

Sent from my Nokia N97

6 thoughts on “Critter management – curse of the terminally single”

  1. Terminally single…no kidding if you are ruling out fur as men can be very hairy! The jar thing is what gets me. I’d have to buy everything in a can if I didn’t have my boys around.

    What’s up with being anti-i? We are big fans of the iPod. I had a really nice one once upon a time until my son took it to hockey and it was stolen. I don’t know squat about iPhones or iPads, but I do know I like that star gazing app (that was just shown to me the other night). That is way cool.

    Of course, all this is coming from the woman whose phone has been dead for about a week now.

  2. oh alright – I like my iPod. But that’s about the extent of it. I find all the iHype to be very iNoying and that prejudices me against the products 😉

  3. I’m basically with you on the single-has-its-advantages page.

    But sometimes (and I do mean sometimes…because when my current Kitty crosses the rainbow bridge, I’ll not be getting another…) our little fur-bearing pals can be helpful in the creepy critter department.

    I wrote the following recently in an email to My Fren Bren:

    “Well I am up early because I woke up with the light on (because I was reading and I fell asleep) and I turned over and was talking to Kitty when all of a sudden, Kitty’s eyes got very big. It is never a good sign when Kitty’s eyes get big.

    I leapt out of bed and said “Where Kitty, where? Where’s the big bug?” because THAT’S what it means when Kitty’s eyes get big.

    After a minute or so (seemed like an eternity) of checking the bed – I was at least satisfied that it wasn’t in my bed. So I decided to read and I picked up my book off the floor– and THERE it was – a huge f***ing spider – which at least didn’t move as I ran and got a mega wad of TP in which to snuff out its life forever.

    (Kitty, of course remained firmly and quietly on the duvet, not moving so much as a muscle and let me deal with the monster spider – that Kitty ain’t no dummy, you know)”

    1. @Erin, Well thank you for asking after Kitty. I am eating a pizza right now, as I come down off the stress of an emergency midnight visit to the Pet Hospital. (Her leg dragging took a turn for the worse). The vet says that it’s likely high blood pressure but we have to wait for the blood tests to come back.

      Kitty is not distressed at all – when we got home from the hospital, she made a beeline (or as much as a leg dragging cat can make a beeline) for her food dish.

      Vet says since my son will be staying at my place to see to Kitty – no problem for me to go to WDW with the sisters. I agree. When we adopted Kitty, my son was a teenager and now he is a man. He can make decisions about Kitty just as well as I can.

      Even if her leg dragging never gets any better, she has always been a totally indoor cat. There are no stairs for her to climb here and she is definitely not distressed about the leg. So if she’s comfortable with it, I’ll make up my mind to be comfortable with it. (But after I finish my pizza).

  4. I have been single/unmarried for 23 years, and single/not in relationship for 8. I have mastered the art of vacuum annihilation. My vacuum tubes are secured with little baggies and rubber bands so that the victims can’t escape, as they do in my dreams. But I don’t live in Florida, and I am not so sure this would be a good plan with scorpions and snakes (oh my). I like single (the way I do it) better than married (the way I did), but the idea of relationship remains appealing, as unlikely as it may be.

    BTW, being laid off and 60 sucks; there is so much time to fill and so little money to fill it with. How goes it with you?

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