Dear Deluded Wannabe:
I realize that you are not self-aware enough to understand how you come across to others. You can’t possibly be self-aware, for if you were, you would not be acting in ways that both alienate and elicit sympathy. Therefore, I’d like to school you about a few things, to wit –
1) Wife-and-motherhood are not empirically superior positions. – especially when they are the only positions you have ever known. It makes you feel good about yourself, I know, to insist that I’ve taken the position that I’ve taken because I am not a wife and I have furthermore never been a mother, and therefore I lack the depth to understand that my position is WRONG. Correction – I have myriad experience with the real world beyond the sheltering, insulating walls of the home, and the fact is, this makes my depth more than sufficient to drown you. You fear a good drowning, so you ha ha ha make jokes and laugh knowingly about how my childless state renders me inferior to you. OK, I’ll take the inferiority of childlessness over the the asinine and pathetic display of insecurity you’ve been exhibiting for the past 5 weeks that we’ve been working together. Whatever makes you feel better about yourself, relieves your anxiety, and gets you through the ordeal of having to deliver a project in partnership with a woman of the world.
2) Leadership is about much more than the desire and propensity to be bossy. Leadership is not defined as giving orders, making demands, forcing your will upon others. I realize that ordering, demanding and forcing are all verbs, but that’s about all they’ve got in common with leading. Leadership is when people follow you, not because they have to, but because they want to. And the reason they want to is because the leader was effective at inspiring them to do so, in motivating them all in the same direction. The leader models a behavior and those who follow imitate that behavior because it resonates, because they recognize it as behavior that will result in success, and they want to be a part of that success. Leadership is a skill. Bossiness is just selfishness in disguise, another attempt to feel better about one’s self through domination rather than persuasion. In the end, you don’t have admirers or friends – you have people who will avoid you next time because they don’t want to be bossed at all, much less by someone who gets it wrong most of the time. And the reason you get it wrong most of the time is because –
3)Listening is the most important yet under-rated skill of a good leader. A team’s diversity of experience is the most valuable asset a leader has. It makes a leader wealthy. What makes a leader wise is the ability to discern what each team member brings to the table, and then leveraging those skills as appropriate. You never found out what everyone was good at, because you never listened. You just blabbed and bossed. This is why you flopped, and why I was able to course-correct weeks of failure within 15 minutes. That whole time while you were blabbing and bossing, I was listening. This is not rocket science, and it’s not hard. You have weapons at your disposal; you just didn’t know it because you don’t reach out. You’re all about you, you, you, hungry little you. Gaining success by leveraging the skills of the team would have filled you up. Instead, you are pouting in the corner because you didn’t get your way.
And it’s all my big, bad fault. Shame on me. If only I’d had some children… *insert eye-roll here*
Archive for the ‘discrimination’ tag
Dear Deluded Wannabe:
Obama didn’t cancel anything. His predecessor, George W Bush, chose to hold a ceremony for the National Day of Prayer at the White House every year he was in office. Obama has not chosen to hold a ceremony in the White House. Many of Bush’s predecessors, both Democrat and Republican, and including his own father, have done the same as Obama. They have signed presidential proclamations to observe the day, as Obama has done, but they have not held a ceremony at the White House each year of their administration. There is nothing historically out of the ordinary going on here.
No one, not even the mighty and apparently much-feared Obama, can cancel your right to pray.
As far as I can tell from the research I’ve done, President Obama will observe the 2010 National Day of Prayer via Presidential proclamation as he did in 2009. Observed does not equal canceled. Nothing is stopping anyone from praying on May 7th. Nothing is commanding them to pray, either.
PLEASE STOP BEING SHEEP. Learn to read FOR YOURSELF, beyond those incendiary email forwards you’ve been blindly re-distributing. I understand that you want to spread the word about what a bad man he is, but when you spread the falsehoods, you degrade your own credibility. How will anyone ever take you seriously ever again if you continue to propagate that which cannot be substantiated?
INVESTIGATE FIRST. You have the absolute right to criticize someone if they do something you don’t agree with. BUT FIRST, make sure he actually did it. Don’t take anyone’s word for it. Don’t put your own credibility in the hands of anyone else but yourself.
GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND. Search. Explore. Investigate. Criticize for what he DID do, if you don’t like it, but don’t spread untruths. It only makes YOU look bad.
The article linked above is from the Orlando Sentinal. It was posted at a Disney-related discussion board I frequent, The WDB. I had an immediate, visceral and negative reaction to the concept of assigned seating at a counter-service establishment. It took me THREE posts over the course of two days to get to the bottom of how I was really feeling about it, and why.
That’s actually good, for me. There were years and years in my life whereby I’d submerged how I really felt so well, nothing came through except for anger. At least now, I can have it figured out in a matter of a day or two.
Anyway, here’s how it went:
FRIDAY – POST #1
I hate this idea. I really hate it. I really don’t want the CMs controlling EVERY aspect of my Disney experience.
The place [Pecos Bill's]wouldn’t be so crowded if they would open other eateries when the park is crowded, such as the Terrace. I have seen the Terrace locked up like Fort Knox, plenty of seating but no food available, on Memorial Day Weekend. Yes, a holiday weekend, park is packed to capacity, and the Terrace is closed. They would not have such an issue at Pecos Bill’s if they would open enough eateries given the size of the crowds.
This idea gets a resounding thumbs down from me.
FRIDAY – POST #2
Another thing I thought of – Disney is NOT going to provide this service for free. As soon as CM intervention is introduced, the prices of the food will go up to support paying that person’s salary and benefits + making a profit off of providing the service. Counter service is supposed to be the less expensive option. The more labor counter service has to support, the less differentiated from “sit-down” the pricing will be. In effect, the “less expensive option” is slowly being removed.
Yes, I’m cynical. IRL, I work in “big business” and I see this tactic all the time.
Next thing you know, they’re going to regulate the benches to sit on. Pretty soon, you’re not going to be able to park your butt anywhere without waiting in a queue and ponying up more cash! I predict the onset of the $5.00 Mickey Head Ice Cream Sammich!
SATURDAY – POST #3
Oh, I keep thinking of more reasons why I don’t like this!
I often find myself touring the parks and eating alone. I think this is just another way that Disney is going to marginalize me. For instance, singles consistently get put in the back of the boat on POTC. Why? Because that is the smallest seat, the seat that can accommodate the least amount of guests. The front seat is reserved for larger parties.
Now that might make logical sense, but by this logic, I am destined to NEVER have the front seat experience on POTC. I can see doing this if the ride is packed, the queue is long, conditions like that – but they do it ALL the time, whether I’ve spent 2 minutes in the queue or 20.
Is my money not as green as the money of the larger party? Is it not worth as much as that of the larger party? I paid to get in, same as every individual in the larger party, yet I do not get to have the same experience that these individuals do. Instead, I get to have a back-of-the-vehicle experience. The same thing happens on Splash and a few other rides where, because of the design of the vehicle, there’s a smaller row at the back of the car.
This may seem a small thing to many of you, but trust me, it wears on your last nerve when you are constantly being held to the side until all the happy families have boarded ahead of you, only to be placed in the rear of the vehicle. It’s discriminatory, and it’s not right. I have spoken up about it, but the CMs get really uncomfortable. They are only obeying their training. There are very few of them who are willing to buck the system and put a single woman up front for a change.
Now, before anyone starts breaking out the violins to play a few choruses of “My Heart Bleeds For You” I want to say that I’ve figured out a way to deal with this. While I am in the queue, I look around for a party of three – preferably either teenagers or else a family with an older child. I approach and tell them what I’ve just told you – I know I’m going to get put in the back of the ride, and I’m tired of being there, so will they please adopt me for the duration of the ride? Invariably, the answer is yes, and I get to sit somewhere other than the back. Maybe the front, maybe not, but at least now I’ve got the same chance as anyone else.
So what does this have to do with dining? They are going to make me wait and wait and wait for a table for two. Have you looked around? Have you noticed that there aren’t a lot of tables for two? Mostly they are for four. But if I’m next, and there is a table for four but no table for two, guess who is going to get seated? The family behind me, that’s who. I guarantee this is what is going to happen. And it is not fair or right.
There’s a vast difference between getting “adopted” for a ride and getting adopted for a meal. No one is going to want to share their table with a stranger and I don’t want to, either. I want the freedom to sit down and have my meal and not be marginalized and shunted to the side.
OK, I have ranted long enough.
END OF POSTS
Yes, I’ve really had those experiences – at Disney, of all places! It’s depressing. I’ve actually written about this before. Before I had blogs, I had a static site where I filed my trip reports. You can read my original 2005 rant on this subject by clicking here. And note I had a delayed reaction back then, too.
Mostly, I’m ok being a single rider. And then there’s THIS sort of crap.