It’s a little extreme and a little too inclusive of gratuitous sexual references – especially the ending, which is neither here nor there with regard to the Law of Attraction.

However, as stumbling across the interwebz goes, it’s a definite “memo from the universe”. You can have what you imagine! I especially like the liberation of the people at the desks whose brains are tethered to gawd knows WHAT.

It won’t be long now…

© 2010, The Single Rider. All rights reserved.

©2010 The Single Rider. All Rights Reserved.

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1. About
2. Ch-ch-changes

“Here’s what all of you have done. You’ve made a sad situation joyous and inspirational. So, to all the people watching, I can never, ever thank you enough for the kindness to me. I’ll think about it for the rest of my life.

Conan O’Brien
The Tonight Show
22 January 2010

This is the way “Coco” departed from The Tonight Show – choked up, humble, vulnerable and a class act all the way. I very much appreciated his final farewell, but I must admit that at the same time, I was baffled and slightly annoyed at the admonishment to “don’t be cynical”. Baffled, because I wasn’t quite sure where that came from, and annoyed because I’d had my run-ins with the word before.

There were a few years during my tenure at the firm when the IT organization (barely) survived a failed outsourcing agreement. More than half of the IT professionals in the firm were outsourced but continued in their positions, while the rest of us “managed” to the terms of the agreement. Almost immediately, 20% of those outsourced were cut by their new employer, but in typical fashion, no one bothered to cut 20% of the work. The agreement was supposed to span Y years for $X billion dollars. It soon became obvious that this was a clash of the titans and a failure of epic proportions. Their marching orders were to do as little as possible for $X billion dollars over Y years and bill us for the balance. Our marching orders were to “manage” them into doing as MUCH as possible for $X billion dollars over Y years and never let them bill us a penny extra. Battle lines were drawn. Long-standing workplace relationships strained and sometimes fell apart. Some good talent left us simply because they felt neglected, cast out and betrayed.

Competition for the internal positions was fierce, and a forced ranking methodology was introduced, accompanied by “360 degree reviews”. This meant you could review each other according to a prescribed format. One of the questions in the 360 review was, “On a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being Not At All and 5 being All The Time – how cynical is SoAndSo?”. I ask you – what the HELL does cynicism have to do with my ability to execute? If I’m hitting all my targets and delivering what I said I’d deliver and then some, why should anyone care if I’m intelligent enough to see the way things are and call them as I see them?

I refused to participate in the process. Among my colleagues, I am famous for a few pithy little sayings, but one of the most famous is, “Don’t ever give me a free form text box. Ever.” The 360 review format had free-form text boxes, and I wrote in them – yes all of them – that 360 degree reviews amounted to permission to assassinate one another and I refused to participate. I also told them what I thought of their little outsourcing agreement. I must not have been alone. A few other little insurrections were about to occur. I’ll only tell you about the most famous one.

At the end of two years, a committee from both sides got together to develop a presentation for executive management, all about issues and outcomes and accomplishments and all that stuff. By unanimous consensus, they had the balls to leave the “Accomplishments” slide completely and utterly blank. Management got the message. 360 degree reviews were discontinued, and the outsourcing agreement was dissolved. Everyone was brought back into the firm and given their old titles back without interruption in years of service.

Although executive management eventually acknowledged and corrected their mistakes, there was some serious damage done. We did lose talent, and we did lose cohesiveness. Many fell prey to burnout. Some folks had actually been thriving at the outsourced company. Loyalties had been completely transferred, and these people were really pissed off to be brought back over to the place that had robbed them of their control over their own careers, dumping them unceremoniously. And the final point of impact? The definition of “cynical” had been warped and twisted and used as a weapon, an aversive stimulus. Recognizing and telling an unpleasant truth was bad, it was wrong, it was “cynical”.

It’s difficult to refrain from sinking into the cynical abyss when life gives you so much good material for it. Wretched realities often overshadow their counterparts in this world. The current state of the world economy serves as a prime example. Bad choices made by greedy, bottom line-driven entities for whom the word “enough” has no meaning have resulted in crisis, recession, off-shoring and layoffs, joblessness, homelessness, and financial ruin. Catastrophic “acts of God” cause destruction, devastation, disease and death. How can we prevent these harsh life conditions from eroding our spirits, when our livelihoods, our homes, the very earth we stand on threatens to crumble away? How do we resist the call of the cynic, who says, “See, I told you so!” when it’s so patently obvious that he’s right?

How could it be bad? Cynicism is a by-product of intelligent discernment. It’s a refusal to drink the kool aid. Cynicism has fueled revolutions and helped to overturn oppressive empires. Cynicism has prevented many a snake oil salesman from making off with the family fortune. Cynicism may very well be a Darwinian response, necessary for the survival of the species.

The original Cynics were Greek philosophers. The basis of cynicism at that time was a belief in virtue and nature, and in the rejection of money and power as sources of happiness. Over time, cynicism became known much more for what it rejected than what it embraced. Modern definitions of the word tell us that today’s cynics have very little belief in the existence of virtue, and almost always focus instead on their conviction that all human motivation is selfish. It is tempting to conclude that cynics don’t believe in anyone or anything, but that is not true. Modern cynicism is not the absence of belief; it is a belief in failure, the failure of humans to rise above and reject their baser instincts in favor of virtue.

I wish to point out to Executive Management that there is a vast difference between believing in failure and simply recognizing it.

Clearly, the heartfelt speech delivered by “Coco” at the end of his Tonight Show run indicates that he still strongly believes in the good of man, despite the horrible way he’d just been treated by a bunch of them. You gotta hand it to a man who has been in television this long and still rejects cynicism. Although I’ve read an interview where he claimed to be purely as Irish Catholic as his ancestors who stepped off the boat in pre-Civil War Boston, I have the feeling that “Coco” is actually Greek for “I’m a believer!”.

I think the key to successful cynicism must be balance – go ahead and call ‘em as you see ‘em, but see BOTH the good and the bad. Extremism is never a good thing. See too much good, they’ll call you a Pollyanna. See too much bad, and you’re a misanthrope. See both and you’re… Conan O’Brien

Image: A poster created by Mike Mitchell during the Tonight Show controversy of 2010 displaying his “Coco” nickname.

© 2010, The Single Rider. All rights reserved.

©2010 The Single Rider. All Rights Reserved.

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I am having a good hair day and wanted to share it with the world :p HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!

Posted by Wordmobi

© 2009, The Single Rider. All rights reserved.

©2010 The Single Rider. All Rights Reserved.

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The future’s in the air
I can feel it everywhere
Blowing with the wind of change …
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
In the wind of change (Scorpions)

Need to make a list:

• I spend too much time in front of the computer
• I spend too much time doing things out of a sense of obligation/duty/responsibility
• Although I am capable of extreme focus, my interests tend to roam far and wide
• All of the above leads to a deficit of personal bandwidth
• … and in the last few years, a deficit of personal accomplishment
• Changes at work again *sigh*
• Change because you have to SUCKS
• Change because you want to is liberating
• A little less dreaming, a little more doing
• I need to reprioritize

Turn and face the strange
ch-ch-changes… (David Bowie)

© 2009, The Single Rider. All rights reserved.

©2010 The Single Rider. All Rights Reserved.

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1. Something to be said for being single
2. A definite “memo from the universe”

I went grocery shopping yesterday afternoon. I was going to pick up a 1/2 gallon of milk, but all the expiration dates were 9/11, so I put it back and moved on.

What with everything else that expired on that date – most notably for me, my sense that Americans are impervious to such acts of war on their own home soil – I just couldn’t bring myself to buy something with a 9/11 expiration date.

One part of me feels like it was silly, but the overwhelming majority of me agrees with the decision and thinks the milk bottling people are going to experience a high number of unsold 1/2 gallons this week.

Has anyone else done anything similar with regard to 9/11? Would you fly on 9/11, or get married or schedule surgery on that date? Have you rescheduled or rearranged something because it would have fallen on 9/11?

Would you have bought the milk?

© 2009, The Single Rider. All rights reserved.

©2010 The Single Rider. All Rights Reserved.

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This is the week that Niece No. 2 and I are sitting on the beach doing absolutely nothing productive. I thought I’d give you all an update on what she meant when she updated her Facebook status a few weeks ago, stating that she “never wants to be a parent.

She was babysitting and the kids were apparently being exceedingly not well behaved. She says she thinks about all a parent has to go through, and “ewww, um, NO!”

I’m wondering if it’s something in the DNA…???

Other thorts I’ve been thunking: I’ve been reading The Secret. If the Law of Attraction states that “like attracts like”, then how do we explain magnets and “opposites attract”?

Posted by Wordmobi

© 2009, The Single Rider. All rights reserved.

©2010 The Single Rider. All Rights Reserved.

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1. About
2. A definite “memo from the universe”

Thought I’d lighten up the mood in here a bit with a “free” post to sort of offset all these “alone” posts. Here’s a shirt I found yesterday in a shop called Trend in Downtown Disney, Orlando. I was “free” to browse all day, and that’s just what I did

Posted by Wordmobi

© 2009, The Single Rider. All rights reserved.

©2010 The Single Rider. All Rights Reserved.

Related posts:

1. About
2. What I looked like on the last day of 2009…
3. Single riders are marginalized
4. An exercise in geekery
5. A definite “memo from the universe”