Comments on: The choice to be childless

By: Erin

Erin — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 02:20:25 +0000

Thank you, Zandria – for taking the time to come and read and comment. I’m honored!

Thank you Ralph. I saw your Father’s Day post at your blog, and you look like you’re totally in love with your kids <3

By: Ralph

Ralph — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 18:05:27 +0000

Of course, i had dreamed about being a daddy withe the right woman. We were married at 31, so perhaps the older we were when children arrived…a bot wiser in outlook. As one of seven kids in the 60s and lots in the neighborhood when I grew up, I always enjoyed being around kids. We were both into parenting, and at 20 and 18, our children have done well, probably because of the total involvement of us both. Proud I am, however Allegra and Cameron are not prizes to show off…

It is really apparent that many are not, and may never never be, right for parenting. Yet all of us have have gifts that are to help others – as you do. Your involvement with them will add to the excellent core values they will retain as adults…

By: Zandria

Zandria — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 17:20:16 +0000

I loved this post. I grew up in a restrictive environment, too (a religious family). I never thought about it until I read your post, but what you said about that shaping your view on wanting kids makes complete sense to me. I don’t want to feel tied-down and trapped, either.

I also understand what you said about a man seeing a child as a trophy; not something that they plan to help with and raise. Not every man is like that, of course, but sometimes women don’t realize their man is like that until it’s too late.

By: Erin

Erin — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 02:31:05 +0000

Thank you for your kind, supportive words, Gayle. Your brood are all so beautiful, I’d be hard pressed to select the one to return Where’d you go to school?

By: Gayle

Gayle — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 01:55:21 +0000

What a very powerfully written post that makes a person really think.

I was one of those people who wanted babies when I was just a baby myself. I had a high school sweetheart that I should have just married and had kids with, but I panicked, dumped him and moved thousands of miles away to college. By the time that was over I was 24 and freaking that I didn’t have a baby so I had a baby with the best of what was available. Isn’t that sad? Three babies later I realized I couldn’t spend another minute with him and am now with my current husband (and have two more children). The whole point that I’m getting at is that you were thoughtful and considerate enough to make the decision to stay childless for the child. That is a completely selfless act. While I would never want to not have my kids, at times I wish I could have been less selfish and not have rushed to have a baby just to have a baby. There is a lot to be said for your actions.

By: queen size funny bone

queen size funny bone — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 00:44:13 +0000

it will be interesting to see if you get an answer. i’ve been married to my husband for 30 years and his sister chose not to have any children and no one knows why. I even asked my mother in law and she said she does not know that her daughter never said.